Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Spring Break!

I am praising God today. He is so amazing. Everytime I think I get it I am blown away by His wisdom. Weyni came home for Spring Break and it was the sweetest time we've had since she's been here. December was great but something has allowed her to trust us differently even since then. It is so strange.The independence she has now has allowed her to trust us more. She is in control of her education and daily life. I think that is empowering to her, but she has our support, love and prayers at home. I don't know what tomorrow holds but I know God is in control. I am cherishing the restoration God is doing. Six months ago I thought my world was falling apart. Even three months ago accepting my daughter wasn't going to live daily in our home shattered my world. I have learned to accept our living situation looks different then some other adoptive families but it is glorious just the same. God reminds me daily shame, guilt and insecurity is not from Him. When I accept He does things again and again outside of the box there is peace. I wish I would quit trying to put Him back in the box!!!

Please continue to pray for Weyni, she is still going through attachment issues daily even in her friendships. It will be a lifelong journey and we will continue to allow God to direct our path. There are still a mixture of regular teen issues with attachment problems. Its so true that once you come to the end of yourself God is there waiting to show you how amazing He is. I know He is more capable of bringing her to Him daily than I ever could. He is also healing the sibling relationships. My girls are writing to each other and crafting together and laughing together. It hasn't been this "real"...uummm ever.

And you know what? She calls me and I get to be the mom. I get to help save the day by fixing things for her. There are no walls that are up that keep her from letting me mother her. Again, only God knew that letting go of her would bring her to us. I try to keep things in perspective, not to get too excited about all the positives, but I know God wants me to take one day at a time....and today is good.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Wow. It's been a while. To be honest I just haven't known what to say. How to word it. How people would react.

It has been a very long, trying year for us. Everything started falling apart for Weyni and us back in May. It has been difficult the whole time but it became especially trying and unbearable. Weyni left our home in July and has recently came back. She will be attending a boarding school that has had a lot of success with international kids and kids struggling with attachment issues.

God has shown us sooooo very much during this time. I have been on the floor in a puddle crying and also arms thrown up angry. I have been confused... why did God call us to a child that didn't want to be here....why did this little girl have to suffer so much...why does she have to continue to suffer because of attachment issues not caused by her....why can't I have her in my home and get the happily everafter...why do my other children have to suffer so much watching this explosive anger....why can't ....why can't...

Well, we are at a new beginning point now. We are hoping and praying that this is successful. We want Weyni to know that she is worthy of all God has for her. That He is faithful. I have learned that no amount of good parenting, loving, or planning can make your child make good choices. Some very painful lessons have to be lived out. I've learned for myself that God is faithful even when I'm heartbroken and helpless. I know now that in order for God to be that for my children He has to take them on their own journey. I've learned not to listen to all the nay-sayers. I've learned that some people love adoption as long as it all looks picture perfect and when an adoption is near failure then some people blame the parents and take it out of God's plan, they can't possibly believe that it could all be part of His bigger picture. I've learned that people will throw stones and say hurtful things because they have never walked in your shoes. I've learned that there are many families and mothers hurting out there that are too scared to speak up. There are families living through turbulent dangerous times everyday in their own home with no support. I've also learned about God's grace and His love for us as parents. I hope I never judge another parent. I've learned humility. I have also gained amazing friends that have walked though this time with us side-by-side, hand-in-hand.

God has been good to our family. We are stronger than ever. He has healed my other children's hearts and I have gotten to see them offer forgiveness and offer new beginnings.

God is good. So here I am looking forward to 2011. Hoping this is the year Weyni finds her way. I know God will continue to direct our paths. Thank all of you who have been so supportive during this time. Thank all of you who have been praying for us. Well there it is. Have a great New Year's!!

Thursday, April 1, 2010


I don't really know how to start this post. Sometimes life is just difficult. Sometimes adoption is difficult. I think we have come to realize that sometimes patterns form in our children that only God can alter. In order for Him to transform that child's heart, they have to let Him in. I felt led to be honest and open up a little about our story. .....

I have to be very careful to protect my daughter's heart, but I feel like its important to be honest. This has been difficult. From the beginning its been hard. I think when you adopt a teenager from a different culture and lifestyle you have to expect that. You try to alter your expectations but don't really account for theirs. Weyni is struggling with false expectations. Expectations of material things, freedom and her reasons for coming here. She came here with her expectation of a "better life". When those expectations aren't met it is so difficult for her to move forward (just like when our expectations aren't met!) We understand the family part was the extra, not the deciding factor for her coming. That is difficult to take in. You really begin to see things clearly through your child's eyes when you understand their expectations. Of course she's having issues with authority she had expectations of independence. She was expecting to be cured from her seizures and is bound by medicines and restrictions. She was expecting to excel in academics and return to her country and she's stuggling because of learning disabilities and language issues. She expected to have a cell phone and laptop...not to be told no because of finances or boundaries.

The bottom line is this....we all have these expectations of our life, or how God is going to use us, or of our children. So we all understand the only way we can accept these broken expectations is to allow Jesus to come in and transform our desires and expectations. We have to let Him come in and shatter our expections and build our heart back up with the desire to serve Him and love Him. We are at that place with our daughter. Praying that she allows God in to transform her desires for her life. We want to see her blossom into the woman God wants her to be. We have to accept that this pattern can't be fixed by our love. That is very important for adoptive parents to understand. It is very difficult to accept. Even when your filling out the paperwork your thinking " love can heal all things". Yes love can heal all things, but only God's love. Even when we're saved we still have to give Him parts of our hearts little by little. And yes I know we read love doesn't heal all things, and we understand these children need more....but down deep we think love heals all things:)

as always I can't accept responsibility for my bad grammar, i love run-on sentences and incomplete thoughts:)

Monday, January 11, 2010

Gotcha Day!

Freweyni making Injera!

F Bday party!

One year ago today we were very nervously meeting our daughter. I was wondering if she was as tall as they said she was (which would have put her about 3 inches taller than me), I was wondering what she would think of us, how much english she knew.....etc. She was not as tall as they she was and knew less english for sure:) It was such an amazing moment! We embraced immediately and the emotion was completely overwhelming! We played charades for the next week and learned how great sunglasses were. This year has been a full year. It seems like years ago that we spent 30 hours flying back to and wondering if all our kids would love each other. I could have never imagined the journey God had for us.
I am watching our daughter prepare for us Doro Wat to celebrate our special day. She celebrated her 15th bday on the 1st. She is definitely a young lady. She has mastered the art of sarcasm, the mp3 player and how to love her family. She is doing great in school and still loves High School Musical. Here is a few pics. She is finishing up then we're going to eat some injera and himbasha bread!! See that is one of the great things of older child adoption:)

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Okay, I have decided since I never get to post...i'll just make really, really, long posts!
I LOVE Christmas time!! This is such an exciting year too. We have two new additions for Christmas , YAY! Of course it means that we have to have a whole wall just for stockings! I hope all my friends are having a wonderful Christmas Season. We are doing great. We are finally starting to even out a little bit more. Here are some updates:

Weyni- She is doing wonderful. She has quite the sense of humor and is so affectionate. God has truly blessed me with my girls. She loves old movies (YAY!). She always has a book in her hand studying and loves to listen to her Ethiopian music. She is starting to really understand how the family works. That doesn't mean she always likes it, but she definitely is trying. The siblings are even start to work out there own misunderstandings. (Which is HUGE!) She is doing really well at school. She loves her school. It is an international school for first year immigrants. They focus on English and America. For example today they are going on another field trip. They do this a lot. They may go bowling, to the botanical gardens, or to the symphony. She has also made a bestfriend from Somalia. This was a very big deal for her. She has really missed her friends. In January she will celebrate her 15th bday and being here a year. We are so excited. It has been a very eventful year, definitely one worth celebrating.

Peepers- She is doing wonderful. She has a new rat that she loves. She loves having a big sister. Of course she spends most of her time planning for the future. She has to because she plans on having a horse soon. I tell her that might be difficult considering our neighborhood doesn't allow them, but of course that's when she mentions the land she plans on buying. I would say 95% of her life revolves around horses! Kaicee also just has a huge heart for the things of God. I am always impressed at her maturity in this area. She is such a leader in whatever group she is in. She is exceling at school. She won first prize in our city's art show. She was awarded Citizen of the 6 weeks of 6th grade at her school. She got to open up the board meeting in prayer. What a way to start the school year. She serves as Chief Editor of Art in the school newspaper. .......and yes this is the same girl that trains her rats and wants me to buy her a ferret!

Pistol- He is doing really well. He is Catfish's favorite...but don't tell anyone! He is such a good big brother to both of his brothers. Carrot Top's teacher tells me all the time how lucky I am to have such a sweet big brother for my boys. He is so protective over his family! He is always looking for a way to tell someone about the Lord. He loves our new church and is trying to establish some good friends at school. It has been hard sometimes to be the new kid but he's doing great. Overall he loves school. He is really doing great in Spelling and is going to try out for the UIL Spelling Team. He just finished up fall ball where his Daddy got to coach. He loved it because he got to call Daddy, Coach! We seperated the boys room by a tall book shelf and it has changed Pistol's life. He loves it. Now he has a little area just his own. This has made for a much happier boy!

Carrot Top- WoW!! What can I say about my sweet Kaden. He is doing great! He is doing excellent in school. I was very nervous about sending him to school because he finds trouble!! I have been so surprised about how well he behaves at school. He is great as long as you keep him very busy. Lets just say if he's bored he is going to make sure he busies himself, even if its bad. He turned 6 2 weeks ago and lost his first tooth. It was a very sad day for me. He is still my baby boy!! He loves his little brother and is always ready to perform for him. He also loves being a big boy and helping around the house. I'm trying to relish every moment with him because I realize what a big growing year this is for kids. If he stops calling cinnamon rolls "rockin rolls" or starts saying thirty instead of "firty" I think I'll cry!

Catfish- Oh, my precious baby! He is my sweet baby! He is pretty rotten' though. He knows what he wants and knows exactly how to get it. Everyone fears the "little bully"! He got his first tooth in today. He is rolling all over the place. He has already tried to open about three presents! He has everyone of us wrapped around his chubby little fingers. (Except maybe Kaden...I think he knows how to play that game!) Healthwise he is doing really well. He may get his helmet off by Christmas!(YAY) His head is beautiful. If you would pray about this stubborn rash on his head that would be great. He has been on steroid creams and antibiotics because it got infected. He can't wear his helmet while its so bad. He is on the verge of saying "Momma" I just know it! I am so thankful for this precious baby even though he's quite high-maintenance :)

This year has been amazing. We have been in some really deep valleys and set on top of some really high mountains. God has shown me so much personally that I am in awe that he snuck those lessons in! I am so giddy about celebrating Christmas with my sweet family this year. I love having a big family....even when I can't find the laundry room to do the laundry!God is good!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Okay, so I realize it has been an insane amount of time since my last post....but here I am. The kids started school and I LOVE it. I am always amazed by God's wisdom. It doesn't matter how many times He shows me I am always amazed. God knew what I could handle and what I needed to hand over. The kids are all doing amazing in school. Weyni's school is a perfect match for her. There are other Africans there and just kids that understand culture shock. She is still behind in some of her classes but we're working on that.
We have had some really great highs and some really traumatic lows the last couple of months. God has set our feet on solid ground once again though. He is showing me daily how I just have to ask him and He renews my strength. I love those times when I don't even have to ask Him and he renews my strength and gives me the desires of my heart I didn't know I had. (Yes I know another run-on!) Adopting a teenage girl definitely isn't for the faint of heart! She is precious though. Those times when she is just hanging out and lets her guard down. It truly allow me to see a glimpse of God's love for us. She told me other day "I know I am happy in my heart and I love my family, I just get sad." aka...I have grief and I don't know how to handle it so I act out!!
God has been showing us so many things lately. He has renewed my vision for older child adoption, which I am sad to say had been dampened over the last year. Sometimes when you are down in the valley it is so hard to see God's plan for your life. Then you remember its not important you see it, its just important that you follow whole-hearted!It's so hard sometimes to see your child struggling just to be in this country. You just begin to wonder if this whole thing doesn't make their life more difficult. Sometimes I still don't know, but I know my God. I know what He has called us to do. So I also know that He has planned for Weyni to be in this family since the beginning of time. So I just have to wait for His plan to unfold so I can rejoice with Him. Thank goodness we don't have to wait for His whole plan to be revealed to rejoice! We get to enjoy her here and now.
Well here are some pictures of our re-adoption in the states and our celebration at an Ethiopian restaurant. It was a very emotional day for all of us. Especially Weyni. It was the permission to grasp onto her new life and to release some of the past. It was hard for her to let go of some of the things she's always known. But I feel like she is allowing herself to embrace us now.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

One Week Until Our Lives Take Another Turn!

Well, here we go again. Another life changing event. The kids are starting school on Monday the 24th. God has worked out every step. Peepers got a last minute call from the Fine Arts Academy where they had one spot left. She scored a 91 in Math and a 98 on Reading on her placement tests!!! She will be starting 6th grade in a much smaller school that sounds like an easier transition for her. Carrot Top and Pistol will be going to the same school. Pistol scored a 83 in Math and a 96 in Reading. Praise God. We prayed over his Reading for days.(It is his weakest subject)Then the coolest thing is Weyni's school. It is a International school for first year immigrants. All the classes are taught with ESL curriculum. They also help the students get acclimated to American culture.

Catfish is doing great. The helmet has taken a little getting used to. He has to wear it 23 hours a day. The neurosurgeon said he may get to take it off as early as 6 months. We just don't have any way of knowing. He is absolutely precious. He has the biggest smile, and the worst temper! We are so amazed at this journey God has put us on the last couple of years. I am thankful for the wisdom and humility He has given us through it. Well its another long day. Here are a few pics from the last couple of weeks.